The 10 Strangest Things Ever Stolen Throughout History

The urge to steal something little has probably crossed your dirty little criminal mind before. But rest assured, nothing you could think of stealing could ever match the unbelievable heists that these thieves staged when no one was around.

 

1. Voltaire vanishes into thin air.

The body of this philosopher/inspiration for hair metal bands everywhere, was stolen from his resting place by his nephew in order to give him a proper burial fit for the snappy dresser he was. Voltaire had spoken negatively about the church in life and was refused a Christian burial, because no one can hold a grudge like the church can. That didn’t stop his nephew from breaking into the Abbey of Scellieres and burying him though.

 

2. The great manhole heist of 1990.

Los Angeles in 1990 was a different time. Crime was rampant and people were afraid because that was ‘the summer of man’. In a crime so inexplicable 185 manhole covers were stolen, without rhyme or reason, that people to this day are still expecting an evil force to rise from the LA underground and complete its mission…of stealing a more aesthetically pleasing 200 manhole covers. Don’t you just love it when numbers are rounded up?

 

3. Someone stole Einstein’s brain.

Einstein, the man with the world’s largest brain, dropped dead of internal bleeding at Princeton University. The body was eventually cremated but was missing one very important organ, Einstein’s brain. Don’t worry though this wasn’t the beginning of a zombie apocalypse, the sneaky pathologist Thomas Stolz stole the brain and kept it for experimentation for over 40 years.

4. Boneparte’s boner part was stolen.

Now you have permission to get your head firmly in that gutter. After Napoleon departed this world he was parted with his favorite appendage. A doctor from Corsica performed an autopsy and left with a pretty strange souvenir – Napoleon’s joystick. This was sold on a number of times before ending up in a museum in New York so the whole family could enjoy it.

 

5. The breast one yet.

In 2000, six breast implants were stolen from a conference. The artificial mammaries were worth a cool $12,000, so in this case, we can all agree that that this thief was no boob.

 

6. The notorious dog poo heist.

Before you start searching for this guy’s details so you can invite him to come and ‘steal’ your dogs unmentionables, you’ll need to know that this incident was actually a mistake. In 2015, a Des Moines man had his truck broken into.  The thief tried to take off with the truck but wasn’t able to. So, determined not to leave empty handed, this thief grabbed a bag and ran. That bag was full of dog crap. Maybe it was actually the poop fairy?

7. A disturbingly large amount of sex toys.

One Oregon woman fell victim to a very sexual thief in 2013. The thief ended up taking off with a whole trunk load of sex toys that the owner had purchased for ‘a friend’s upcoming bachelorette party’, the officer who took her details laughed while taking the incident report and presumably said “sure, it was for your ‘friend'”.

 

8. That sure was Bullish.

If ever there was an example of a heist that was deserved of a victory lap, it was this classic case of making it rain, all over the club, with bull semen. That’s right ladies and gentleman, bull jizz is worth a whole load of money and presumably, once the heist was made known, the bull took out a cigarette and said, “no problem guys, I can do this all day long”.

 

9. And the Academy Award goes to….

What’s better than one Oscar? 55 Oscars of course. In 2000, a shipment of 55 Academy Awards was stolen from a Chicago factory loading dock. These masters of crime actually worked at the dock and presumably thought the black market rate for real Oscar statues was extensive.

10. A bridge too far.

Two brothers ended up stealing a 50 foot long, local bridge in the dead of night with blowtorches and towing gear. They were eventually found out after the scrap metal yard they used to shift the materials sold them out. This heist was clearly just a bridge too far for these boys.