9 Things More Boring Than Watching Paint Dry

Whenever someone’s bored they use the expression “this is so boring, it’s like watching paint dry”, but is watching paint dry the most boring activity on Earth? You may say yes, but that’s just what the mass media wants you to believe, you fool! But oh contraire mon frère, there are many things more boring – nine on this list for certain and now it’s time to get boring, really, really boring.

 

1. Paperwork.

There is probably nothing more boring than your personal paperwork whether it be applying for a visa, sorting out your tax returns, or updating your resume and realizing that you don’t actually have as many skills as you thought you did. Not only does it take way longer than you thought it would, you rarely ever get it all right on the first try and there is usually so much bureaucratic red tape to jump through that you feel like a poorly trained Dachshund at a dog show trying to jump through a hoop – it’s not going to end well.

2. 50 Shades of Grey.

This movie is so boring that it should be shown to the human race to encourage the benefits of celibacy. This supposedly erotic thriller affectionately known as ‘mommy porn’ will kill your boner and your will to live faster than walking in on your grandparents celebrating their 97th wedding anniversary – you know they’ve learned some things in 97 years.

3. Hospital beds.

Being stuck in a hospital bed with the smell of bleach permanently fused to your nostrils is an uncomfortable experience even when you’re not actually sick.  For some reason the lights above your bed are as bright as the sun and it seems as if you wait an eternity to see a doctor – is there only one in the entire hospital? So you sit there tired, bored and frustrated by the fact that the same monotonous sounds can be heard every second and those are the same sounds that will keep you from sleeping at night. It’s going to be boring as hell and you never know when you’re able to leave  – at least with paint you know it will only take about six hours.