17 Archetypes Of The Drunk Text That Will Make You Rethink Drinking

Everyone knows how it goes: you go out for one drink, one drink turns into six drinks, and before you know it, you wake up dehydrated, scared and embarrassed – and this is all even before you’ve grabbed your phone to see the damage you’ve done.


1. The “I’m having so much fun I need to tell everyone who’s not here about all the fun I’m having” text.


2. The “I’m totally fine, it’s all autocorrect’s fault” text.

3. The “I wasn’t going to drink but here I go anyway” text.


4. The “I have this uncontrollable need to text my parents” text.


5. The Benedict Cumberbatch of drunk texting.

6. The luckiest person alive.


7. The “I almost got away with it but got too confident” text.


8. The “It totally makes sense to ME” text.

9. The “My drunk brain wanted to say all these things at the same time” text.


10. The “If I text girls there are free drinks, then maaaaybe they might come” text.


11. The “sext deflect” text.

12. The “I’m confused as to which text I’ve sent and which one I’ve received” text.


13. The “That escalated quickly” text.


14. The “10 Jaegerbombs in” text.

15. The “half a dozen babies” text.


16. The “Borderline stalker” text.


17. The “I’m really trying to tell you what happened but my fingers won’t let me” text.