15 Ways You Can School Your Lying Teachers

1. “Vincent Van Gogh cut off his ear because he was mentally ill!” Nope, he didn’t.

It’s believed he actually lost it in a sword fight with his famous rival painter pal Paul Gauguin. The two didn’t get along very well after, although Van Gogh honored their ‘pact of silence’ to protect his friend.

2. “Chameleons change color in order to camouflage themselves.” No, sir.

They change when they are down to mate, or too hot or cold. For example, when it is too cold, they’ll darken right up in order to absord more warmth from the light.

3. “Christopher Columbus discovered that the world was round…and found America! Yay!” Not the case at all.

Greek intellects had come up with the round earth deal 2,000 years before him. And he’d been beaten to America by a viking, Leif Erikson, by several hundred years.

4. “Different sections of your tongue taste different things.” Sorry, madam. Not right.

The whole thing can taste all of the tastes. A protein present everywhere on the tongue reacts to the sour taste.

5. “Abe Lincoln is The Great Emancipator, a fierce enemy of slavery.” Unfortunately, this is false.

He only wanted to free the slaves in the confederate states, and went so far to say that if he could save the Union without freeing any slaves, he would. Not cool.

6. “Isaac Newton came up with the idea of gravity from an apple falling on his head.” Nope, he didn’t.

Sure, he watched apples falling, but it didn’t take a hit to the dome to convince him.

7. “Human’s came from chimpanzees.” Incorrect.

We share a common ancestor (6 million years ago), but these guys ain’t exactly tight fam.

8. “Space has no gravity.” You wrong.

The influence of gravity is certainly a lot weaker in space than in gravity, but it’s still active alright. It keeps the moon in orbit. So when you see objects floating, they’re actually just falling very slowly.

9. “Thomas Edison came up with the light bulb.” Nope, ThomEd did not.

Actually, nearly 22 other inventors had had a whiz at incandescent bulbs. But Edison bought the patent from the widow of another guy. So he got history’s kudos.

10. “The US had 13 colonies back in the day.” Do not pass go.

The thirteen stripes of the flag are supposed to stand for the 13 colonies. But actually, there were only 12. This is because Delaware wasn’t officially a colony. It was under the pull of Maryland and Pennsylvania at intervals. But it had a good name: “the phantom state.” Nice.

11. “Ben Franklin discovered electricity when he was flying his kite.” No dice.

You know the old fable: that he was flying his kite with a metal key attached. Lightning got at the kite, passing along into the key. Historians say that’s baloney and that BenFrank would have been fried if it were true. Shucks.

12. “Thanksgiving is the celebration of Native Americans and Pilgrims breaking bread.” Honestly, this is laughable.

It’s a long and gruesome story, but to put it simply, the Pilgrims were constantly slaughtering and tricking the Native Americans. Plague, disease and genocide were the Pilgrim’s gifts.

13. “Blood that doesn’t have any oxygen becomes blue.” Wrong buzzer sounds.

This old one started because blood looks blue in the veins under the skin. In reality, this is because our eyes trick us. The light bounces off our skin and into our eyes. Blood is red as a Republican.

14. “Diamonds come from coal.” Don’t lie.

Diamonds are formed in rock shafts under volcanoes. Coal is on the surface of the earth. A lot of people believe this one, but it’s a lie.

15. “In the Salem Witch Trials, witches got burned alive.” That ain’t right.

They were either hanged by the neck or put in the slammer. Not ideal, either. The burning bit spread like wildfire, but it’s not accurate.