13 Movie Content Warnings That Will Make Babysitting An Impossible Task

Any good babysitter or parent would want to know whether movie content is appropriate for children. However, these content warnings will leave you nothing but confused, wondering whether it would not be easier to just make the children play catch in the garden. All year round.

 

1. Aladdin.

Listed under ‘Frightening/Intense Scenes’: “Jasmine’s father says ‘Praise Allah!’ when they’re talking about getting married.”

Super frightening. Never let your kids watch this.

 

2. Tango&Cash.

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“Tango and Cash are seen naked from behind walking into a shower.” Not knowing this would have been crazy scary. Thanks for the warning, dude.

 

3. The Three Musketeers.

If your children don’t yet know that women have breasts, don’t let them watch this. According to the reviewer, “[t]he heroes have women falling all over them and most of the women are [about] to fall out of their costumes — lots of heaving bosoms.”

4. Predator 2.

Your kids attend church regularly? Then this movie is a clear NO. The reviewer, apparently really bored by his job, made the effort of counting swearwords throughout the whole movie and it didn’t go too well: “Around 69 f-words (possibly more). A few s-words. Lots of other swearing as well.”

 

5. Ichi the Killer.

No kids should be watching this movie anyway. However, out of all the gruesome things that are happening throughout this movie, the reviewer really needed to make you aware of the following: “Men are seen topless.”

 

6. The Monster Squad.

“Most of the swearing comes from the mouths of the kids.” That is very worrying, indeed.

7. Conan the Barbarian.

We can’t be sure but “[i]t is insinuated that Conan has sex in one scene.”

 

8. The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie.

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Just when you thought that SpongeBob was your safest option, you find out that you were dead wrong. According to the IMDb Parents Guide, the movie will cause eternal confusion in your children: “SpongeBob brushes Squidward’s back in a shower.” Wait there’s more: “Patrick with no pants carries a flag with the stick between his bare buttocks.”

 

9. Short Circuit.

It is hard to believe but apparently “Jesus’ name is called out a few times.”

10. Space Jam.

As if you weren’t already irritated enough: “A cartoon character has his pants pulled down and we see cartoon buttocks.”

 

11. Jurassic Park.

“A T-Rex attacks children, they are all right, though.” No way.

 

12. Back to the Future.

The Parents Guide points out some worrying facts: “A ‘XXX’ cinema is seen in the background of a small town twice.”

 

13. The Wolf of Wall Street.

If you let any children watch this, you’d score the first place in the world’s worst babysitter ranking. To give you a more precise understanding: “A man is shown lying nude on his stomach while a woman straddles his bare buttocks and places a burning candle in his anus; the woman then drips hot wax on his back and he yells. His buttocks are seen.”