13 Unnecessary Infant Gadgets You Wouldn’t Want Anywhere Near Your Child

1. iPotty

So your baby can be entertained with iPad games while he potty trains.

 

2. Kickbee: for tweeting from the womb

Now your unborn baby can have their own Twitter account! Kickbee is a band that Mom places over her stomach, that sends out tweets automatically whenever the baby kicks. Creepy…

 

3. Buff Baby Dumbbells

Because fat rolls on babies are no longer cute… just kidding. These baby dumbbells are actually cute little rattles, but babies look hilarious lifting them!

4. Shape Of An Angel

Yep, that’s a custom replica of the fetus growing inside you. Mothers can send in an MRI image of their baby and get it made into a keychain! Cute…

 

5. Baby Poop Alarm

Because sometimes that smell just isn’t strong enough. This gadget is great for moms who want to be alerted as soon as their baby has pooped, with blinking lights and a catchy melody.

 

6. Breast Milk Jewelry

It’s exactly what you think. A group of mom’s on Etsy have started creating keepsakes made from dried, plasticised breast milk.

7. Bathroom Baby Harness

A great way to conveniently store your baby! Sometimes you’re busting for the loo, and theres no clean, safe space to put your baby. Now all you need to do is whip out this baby harness and hang your little one on the wall.

 

8. Woombie

The cocoon-like sack is great for little bubbas who aren’t sleeping well. It’s made of cotton and lycra so it’s snug but a little more comfortable than a traditional swaddle, and it has a front zip so it won’t unravel.

 

9. Hula-Bye

This device helps you strap your baby to the changing table so he can’t rock around too much when you’re trying to clean him. This looks a bit like a torture device, but is also kind of genius.

10. Labor Pain Simulator

Yes! This is what expecting mothers everywhere have been waiting for! This machine, designed for a TV show, has electrodes that attach to men’s stomachs, and apply contractions at increasing frequency to teach men exactly how painful contractions are. Unfortunately, the show only applied the machine to men for two hours, while the average labor lasts from 12 to 14 hours.

 

11. Skin Maternity Dress

Marisol Rodriguez was frustrated by constantly growing out of her maternity clothes, so she designed this genius dress inspired by Japanese origami. As your baby grows, the stomach unfolds, revealing bright colors that highlight your baby bump!

 

12. Baby Bangs

Yea, because a baby with a receding hairline is so embarrassing. These headbands with attached toupee have been spoofed by SNL, but these ones appear to be completely serious.

 

13. Placenta Teddy Bear

So if you don’t want to eat your baby’s placenta or bury it in the back garden, there is another option. Get it made into a teddy bear! The placenta is cut in half, salted, dried and emulsified, then shaped in to a one of a kind commemorative teddy.