12 Products That Used To Kill Children – Seriously…

Here’s a key tip if you’re an adult – Santa Clause actually hates kids and runs a global conspiracy to murder small children. You should probably just boycott Christmas altogether…and toys and probably any kind of fun or laughter just to be safe.


1. Battlestar Galactica Colonel Stellar Probe.

These space ships from 1979 may look harmless but they were potentially deadly to children. This specific product killed children who swallowed the pieces before they were recalled.


2. Holly Hobbie Phones.

These toys had ends that looked like electrical plugs. Naturally small children tried to plug these into wall outlets and ended up being electrocuted.


3. Three stars plastic ring caps.

Remember how awesome cap guns were? Well the ammunition sometimes exploded outside of the gun which forced a recall.

4. Battlestar Galactica Cylon Raider.

Mattel had a bad year in ’79 with its Battlestar Galactica toys. This was another product it had to recall after kids were shooting the little red projectiles into their mouths.


5. Battlestar Galactica Colonial Scarab.

After returning the defective toys, Mattel sent customers Hot Wheels cars which kids would also stick in their mouths – way to go Mattel!


6. Gun Fighter Cork Gun.

The old days were like the wild west of toy making. This little treasure was recalled in 1979 after it was discovered that the product could fire metal freaking rods out of the barrel.

7. Gabriel Giggle Stick.

By now you have discovered that kids will stick anything into their mouths. Once they found out they could open up the Giggle Sticks they would swallow the noise-making reed inside.


8. Dakin Stuffed Toy Mobiles.

When an 11-month-old girl strangled herself to death with a rope that suspended this product above her crib, 500,000 toys were recalled.


9. Soft Shot Star Launcher.

This product was a blowgun and kids kept choking on the defective mouthpiece which would detach often, forcing a recall.

10. Battlestar Galactica Colonial Viper.

It’s surprising that Mattel didn’t go out of business with the amount of products it recalled in ’79. Battlestar Galactica products had little pieces that became a nightmare for parents and developers alike.


11. Strauss Cork Rifles.

Watch out kids! this product was created with a defect and that defect caused the rod to shoot out of the gun, so have fun with that.


12. FAO Schwarz Infant Crib Exerciser.

Kids could become entangled in the cribs 17-inch elastic cord which could potentially strangle young children.