10 Parasitic Infections You Wouldn’t Wish On Your Worst Enemy

Do you have enemies? Sure you do. Dave in the office is a dick who steals all the coffee from the break room and doesn’t replace it, but even Dave doesn’t deserve to get these ten parasitic infections that are straight out of your worst nightmares…seriously.


1. Taeniasis.

Taeniasis is a type of tapeworm which doesn’t usually come with any symptoms. You tend to notice these guys when you go to poop and see live worms wriggling around in it – try eating your lunch now.


2. Bot fly larva.

The bot fly deposits its eggs inside of human skin and then it’s offspring claws its way out when it’s born. If you think this seems familiar, you’re right, it’s the plot of Alien.


3. Ascaris.

Ascaris comes from Latin, meaning “ass is scared” (probably). It is one of the most common worm infections, but don’t think that means it’s not bad. The worms migrate to your lungs where their larvae grow – think about that the next time you breathe.

4. Onchocerciasis.

This is the type of parasite you really don’t want to get, because it’s kind of an *sshole. The parasite generally lives within the body for 15 years and is the leading cause of blindness in the world, see…*sshole!


5. Lymphatic Filariasis

Lymphatic Filariasis is also known as “holy crap, why is your leg so big?”. It’s a tropical parasite caused by tiny nematode worms. These little guys are particularly terrifying because they fill the lymphatic system (including the nodes) and can lead to Elephantiasis which is way less cool than it sounds.


6. Guinea Worms.

Guinea Worms are usually spread through contaminated water. They remain inside the stomach for about three months and will eventually bore through your body, so good luck with that.

7. Cutaneous leishmaniasis.

This is basically just a skin infection caused by a parasite transmitted through sandfly bites. If it doesn’t sound too bad then you’re wrong because of course it’s bad, these sores can lead to a case of severe death.


8. Screw-Worm Fly.

Screw you worm fly! and take your dickish activities somewhere else. If this fly finds an open wound on any warm blooded animal, it will lay eggs in it and its offspring will then start feeding off your flesh until it kills you or, you know, until you get treatment.


9. African Trypanosomiasis.

If we’ve learned anything from today’s parasite class, it’s that flies suck and they are dirty as hell. The tsetse fly transmits this wonderful parasite that multiplies within the tissue, blood and lymph nodes of the body and then attacks the nervous system.

10. Naegleria.

Naegleria is the type of nightmare disease that movies are made of. The only problem is that it’s real, it’s mean and it lives in your brain – that’s right campers, this is Nightmare on Elm Street frightening. It’s typically not advised to have anything in your brain apart from, well, your brain and when Naegleria is in there, this will lead to inflammation and death within three to seven days.